Secular Parenting in a Religious World

Secular Parenting in a Religious World - A Book Review

There are far too few parenting books that address parenting from a secular point of view. So when I was asked to take a look at McKerracher's recent offering into the parenting book realm, I was immediately intrigued.

There is a strong argument to be made that the secular values of knowledge, reason, logic, kindness, honesty, and love make for a great guide in raising tomorrow's youth. Compared with many religiously motivated guides of mostly authoritarianism and fear based parenting, McKerracher shows exactly why both religious and nonreligious parents can benefit by only presenting religion to children in an objective and unbiased manner leaving them to make their own decision about what they believe once they reach a developmental age at which they are capable of separating what is real and what is not.

In one chapter, she tackles the myth that I often hear regurgitated by religious apologists that children are innately believers in a god. By pointing out the logical fallacy in a couple of books championed by purveyors of that belief including The Religious Potential of the Child and The Secret Spiritual World of Children, she puts to bed the ideas behind the major points in those books and those views.

McKerracher goes on to discuss the changing nature of morality in our world with the most recent and forefront example of homosexuality which was considered synonymous with insanity a mere fifty years ago. But this can go on with ideas about civil rights and slavery, all of which are condoned in much of the 2000 year old so called moral guide that is the Bible, and indeed still championed by the more fundamentalist of Christians. Sure, there are those who will cherry pick the ideas that are held as good by modern society, but at that point are you getting your morality from the Bible or despite a lot of it?

The book discusses ideas and her personal anecdotes to raising well-adjusted, self-respecting, and critical thinking individuals. It raises points about discussing things that those of us raised in a religious manner did not have the benefit of. Things that may seem uncomfortable to talk about such as an honest approach to sex, death, and even healthy masturbation. There are helpful suggestions to boost critical thinking using logic problems and teaching kids to solve their own problems by getting them to put forward their own input in any given situation. By teaching our children to question everything and having reason and evidence to back up their facts and their ideas, they have a strong foundation to build upon.

One part of the book that is particularly interesting to me, seeing as I have a five year old entering the public school atmosphere, was the section on building a school of tolerance. As a secular parent in the Midwest, it will be likely that the separation of church and state will be tested and I will have to be willing to stand up for the benefit of my kids as needed. It was helpful to hear of her own struggles in this area and how they were dealt with.

There are many parts of our society that are so coupled with religion from laws to holidays and everything in between, that religious literacy is key. McKerracher discusses many ways to make sure major religious beliefs are presented to kids without being preached. She also discusses the options about to what extent, if any, your secular family many celebrate those holidays which have some roots in religion.

Overall, I highly recommend this book to any parent. Especially those who come from a religious family and may need some input as to what might need to deviate from their own upbringing so that they may be raising free-thinking, questioning, knowledgeable, self-sufficient, happy, and healthy kids.

The Poky Little Puppy

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Kirk blAug

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