When I was young my parents followed a tradition which I imagine was passed down to them from their parents who received the tradition from their parents before them and so on for a generation or two before them. I am of course talking about the yearly tradition of deceiving their gullible offspring with myths of a jolly man who lives at the North Pole. I fell for it.
They were fairly elaborate to the point of even having a man dressed up as a Santa come to the front door one year. This of course sparked my suspicion a little. Why the front door and not the chimney? Though I do not remember what it was, a satisfactory explanation was given and I continued to believe in it.
Eventually I did finally figure it all out, mostly through ridicule from schoolmates and my 3rd grade teacher for still believing it. I did not take the news well. I did not understand that my parents, who regularly told me that lying is wrong and makes Jesus cry, would keep up such an elaborate and ultimately pointless one. Some will argue that Santa is fun, but I am sure heroin is fun too. That does not, in my mind, make it ideal to give to kids.
I have been told that it is not really a lie, just a part of the Christmas tradition. There are some valid arguments for carrying on the Santa myth, but none that allow deluding oneself into claiming it is not a lie. Perhaps the Santa lie does encourage a skeptic mind. It may have been instrumental in developing my own trait in questioning assertions which lack evidence. I do not know. I know that the way my parents raised me, no matter how much the result conflicts with them today, made me who I am today. I happen to like who I turned out to be, so I would not change anything.
Needless to say, I do not carry on this particular tradition. While I readily admit that this is in part an emotional reaction to my past, I also try to tell my kids the truth as I see it in any case. There are enough real world lies that will be told to them by other adults that they do not need me to do it too. Of course I will also encourage them to question what I tell them because I do not know everything and can indeed be proven wrong quite often. This makes parenting harder for me, but critical thinking skills stronger for them, so I will endure it.
Jupiter knows about Santa, the fictional character. He enjoys the character, but as far as a three-year-old is able to discern, he does not think that the stories associated with Santa are real. If he does, I will not be providing the evidence to encourage it. That does not take away from the enjoyment of the holiday season for him.
They were fairly elaborate to the point of even having a man dressed up as a Santa come to the front door one year. This of course sparked my suspicion a little. Why the front door and not the chimney? Though I do not remember what it was, a satisfactory explanation was given and I continued to believe in it.
Eventually I did finally figure it all out, mostly through ridicule from schoolmates and my 3rd grade teacher for still believing it. I did not take the news well. I did not understand that my parents, who regularly told me that lying is wrong and makes Jesus cry, would keep up such an elaborate and ultimately pointless one. Some will argue that Santa is fun, but I am sure heroin is fun too. That does not, in my mind, make it ideal to give to kids.I have been told that it is not really a lie, just a part of the Christmas tradition. There are some valid arguments for carrying on the Santa myth, but none that allow deluding oneself into claiming it is not a lie. Perhaps the Santa lie does encourage a skeptic mind. It may have been instrumental in developing my own trait in questioning assertions which lack evidence. I do not know. I know that the way my parents raised me, no matter how much the result conflicts with them today, made me who I am today. I happen to like who I turned out to be, so I would not change anything.
Needless to say, I do not carry on this particular tradition. While I readily admit that this is in part an emotional reaction to my past, I also try to tell my kids the truth as I see it in any case. There are enough real world lies that will be told to them by other adults that they do not need me to do it too. Of course I will also encourage them to question what I tell them because I do not know everything and can indeed be proven wrong quite often. This makes parenting harder for me, but critical thinking skills stronger for them, so I will endure it.
Jupiter knows about Santa, the fictional character. He enjoys the character, but as far as a three-year-old is able to discern, he does not think that the stories associated with Santa are real. If he does, I will not be providing the evidence to encourage it. That does not take away from the enjoyment of the holiday season for him.
I feel the same way about Santa, and had a similar experience as you as a child. I feel like I am the only one in my family that is pro-no-santa, but one is all it takes to keep my kids 'in the know'.
ReplyDeleteI am at odds with much of my family on this as well. It suspect that some of it comes from the loss of ability to as successfully carry it on with their own. Some get pretty defensive.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a nondenominational cult and never participated in any holidays. No Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Valentine's Day, None... I was 7 years old when I even saw Santa sitting in his little house on the town square, when I was told who he was, I had no great sadness that I'd never experienced the joy of believing in a man who comes and brings presents if I've behaved...So I have mixed thoughts on what I will tell my children, although I will have to take in to consideration that whoever I spawn offspring with will probably have partaken in the childhood "joy" that is "Santa Claus".
ReplyDeleteThis is something I struggle with during this season. I think it's important to be 100% honest, but I agree that Santa is a lie, although some might call it a "white lie". I appease my conscience by using generalities in regards to Santa instead of saying he for sure exists. I just let my kids believe in him and have fun with the idea of Santa. I do agree with your view though. Sigh... My husband is firm on believing in Santa, so I just try and focus on what I view as the real reason for the season. (another thing you'd probably describe as a myth) :)
ReplyDeleteI don't remember when I figured out or was told Santa is fictional. I do remember helping my sons understand the Santa myth as just a fun thing. I had a deliberate policy of never lying to them and did my best to uphold that promise. They seemed to handle that just fine, they still had fun with xmas, I don't think they had any problem and they now have small children of their own. It will be interesting to see how they handle it with their kids. I think if they deliberately maintain the lie for a while I will be very tempted to subtly sow doubt so the child can figure it out for herself (all girls so far). The god thing is also going to a very interesting topic. The families of my son's partners range from moderate to fundy christian, I can see the possibility for some degree of conflict. If I can help my grand-daughters learn the value of skepticism and think critically/scientifically then I would feel deliriously happy about it!
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